The Expendables

STARRING: Stylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, and more...
BADNESS RATING:
RELEASED: 2010
DIRECTED BY: Sylvester Stallone

The ExpendablesThe Expendables cast is made up of the action stars that are known by last names – Stallone, Statham, Li, Willis, Schwarzenegger, Lundgren & Rourke.

This was to be the greatest movie of all time. Surely with this many stars it would be a hit. It was recently added to Netflix and I’ve taken another look. There are some fine scenes, but some of the promise is not fulfilled. Willis and Schwarzenegger are cameo’s and there are so many stars that only a few of the characters are developed.

Takeaways:

  • The quality of the effects are great, but the fast cuts between clips make me feel that they are hiding something.
  • Stallone’s hold onto a plane as it takes off is amazingly unbelievable, and reminiscent of the finger strength first displayed in Cliffhanger.

The Expendables is a great 3 star movie, but didn’t reach my 5 star dreams.

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Night Hawks

STARRING: Sylvester Stallone
BADNESS RATING:
RELEASED: 1981
DIRECTED BY: Bruce Malmuth

NighthawksAmazing opening sequence followed by an abundance of drama. Good hair doesn’t make a movie. 2 stars.

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Cobra

STARRING: Sylvester Stalone, Brigitte Nielsen
BADNESS RATING:
RELEASED: 1986
DIRECTED BY: George P. Cosmatos

CobraThe movie tag line says it all “Crime is a disease. Meet the Cure.”

Sylvester Stalone stars as Lieutenant “Cobra” Cobretti. He is a rebel with a cool car, leather jacket, big gun, bad attitude, shades, and a toothpick (for chew’n).

In the opening scene a psycho is shooting up a grocery store. After several customers are killed, the call goes out to Cobra. This is a drastic and contraversial move since Cobra is known for his shoot first ways.

Cobra is forever forced to defend himself and is then scolded for his use of deadly force, or he offers up insights into the investigation and is dismissed due to lack of evidence. Basically the higher ups with their “red tape” and “rules” are always wrong. Meanwhile the street smart Cobra continuously uses his “insticts” and badass-ness to save the day.

The takeaway of this movie is that criminal rehabilitation is a joke and crazy cults of weapon clinking psychos are a reality. The really real takeaway is a theme song so amazing that you’ll sing it for a week and then wish you could get back the last 7 days.

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