S.W.A.T.: Firefight

STARRING: Gabriel Macht, Kristanna Loken, Giancarlo Esposito
BADNESS RATING:
RELEASED: 2011
DIRECTED BY: Benny Boom

S.W.A.T.: FirefightA member of a successful LA S.W.A.T. Team mentors and trains a S.W.A.T. Unit in Detroit. Good training sequences, big explosions, & ample snipe-ing, this was on the verge of 4 stars until I had to type the punctuation in the title. I both appreciate and question the triangle created by the period colon combo. This all adds up to a 3 star rating.

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Point Blank

STARRING: Mickey Rourke, Danny Trejo
BADNESS RATING:
RELEASED: 1998
DIRECTED BY: Matt Earl Beesley

Point BlankIs this a typo? Surely I mean Point Break, or even Grosse Point Blank. No my friends, I am speaking of the 1998 direct to video gem featuring Mickey Rourke and Danny Trejo.

An over the top prison break starts us off, but when the escaped prisoners decide to take over a mall… well… I had to question the planning.

Takeaways:

  • Danny Trejo loves to laugh
  • Mickey Rourke likes to fight to rock jams.
  • Direct to video was the right choice.

I’ll go 2 stars. I would never watch it again on purpose, but the bad action greatness of the cover art could trick me.

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10 to Midnight

STARRING: Charles Bronson
BADNESS RATING:
RELEASED: 1983
DIRECTED BY: J. Lee Thompson

10 to MidnightCharles Bronson is a cop who doesn’t like serial killers who target his family. A mix of Dirty Hairy and Deathwish, but with less pizzaz.

In a world before DNA the serial killer gets naked before killing so that no evidence is left behind. Lot’s of 70’s nudity, i.e. natural boobs. A solid 2 star effort.

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To Protect and Serve

STARRING: C. Thomas Howell
BADNESS RATING:
RELEASED: 1992
DIRECTED BY: Eric Weston

To Protect and ServeThis movie doesn’t have any big name stars but it does have a bunch of dirty cops, a couple good cops, some hookers, some drugs, some murders and great 90’s action music. Solid but not outstanding. 3 stars.

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The Cutter

STARRING: Chuck Norris
BADNESS RATING:
RELEASED: 2005
DIRECTED BY: William Tannen

The CutterChuck Norris, diamonds and an attorney in a Hawaiin shirt… what could go wrong? It turns out a couple kick fights does not a hit movie make.

I fell asleep during my first viewing and awoke to the final kick off. Rewatching the next day I understood my sleepiness. 1 star for you.

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Sniper

STARRING: Tom Berenger, Billy Zane
BADNESS RATING:
RELEASED: 1993
DIRECTED BY: Luis Llosa

SniperThis movie gets a 5-star rating because in sharp comparison to the movies we’re typically exposed to in the BAM genre, this one isn’t actually that bad. In fact, it’s almost a good movie. Sure, it relies on some predictable plot elements, but Tom Berenger’s performance as the seasoned, hard-edged, nothing-left-to-lose sniper is both believable and engaging. Recently partnered with a green, arrogant young new partner (Billy Zane), Berenger is tasked with training the fearful marine as they get deeper into the Panamanian jungle on a mission to assassinate several terrorists.

Made in the early nineties, this movie draws on the imagery that we’re accustomed to seeing in Vietnam movies (think jungle crawling, dog-tags, helicopters), and lacks the high-tech edge that we expect from more current military flicks. Berenger carries his partner through the mission, as Zane struggles to make his kill shots, keep himself properly concealed, and eventually goes mad in what is the movie’s most unbelievable sequence. You probably won’t gain any new perspectives on war watching Sniper, but you may be surprised at how few jokes you are able to make at the movies expense.

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