The Expendables

STARRING: Stylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, and more...
BADNESS RATING:
RELEASED: 2010
DIRECTED BY: Sylvester Stallone

The ExpendablesThe Expendables cast is made up of the action stars that are known by last names – Stallone, Statham, Li, Willis, Schwarzenegger, Lundgren & Rourke.

This was to be the greatest movie of all time. Surely with this many stars it would be a hit. It was recently added to Netflix and I’ve taken another look. There are some fine scenes, but some of the promise is not fulfilled. Willis and Schwarzenegger are cameo’s and there are so many stars that only a few of the characters are developed.

Takeaways:

  • The quality of the effects are great, but the fast cuts between clips make me feel that they are hiding something.
  • Stallone’s hold onto a plane as it takes off is amazingly unbelievable, and reminiscent of the finger strength first displayed in Cliffhanger.

The Expendables is a great 3 star movie, but didn’t reach my 5 star dreams.

Find on Netflix

Men of War

STARRING: Dolph Lundgren
BADNESS RATING:
RELEASED: 1994
DIRECTED BY: Perry Lang

Men of WarMen of War begins with Nick Gunner (Dolph) on the streets of Chicago. He is approached to complete an easy job and collects his rag tag assortment of mercenary buddies, giving a glimpse of their character and  civilian lives.

Before starting their mission they are involved in a bar brawl where they meet a lady mercenary who will join their team, and also someone who will almost certainly be the “bad guy.”

Takeaways:

  • Dolph Lundgren loves carrying children
  • It is never explained where the lady mercenary came from, or why she was in this movie.

Lot’s of bad jokes, punching and shooting qualifies this in the genre. A  surprise starring role by B.D. Wong  (Oz, Law & Order SVU), makes this a novel movie to watch, but the poor character development and the fact that it never seems to end result in a 2 star rating.

Find on Netflix

Direct Contact

STARRING: Dolph Lundgren
BADNESS RATING:
RELEASED: 2009
DIRECTED BY: Danny Lerner

Direct ContactDolph begins “Direct Contact” in an Eastern European prison. Is this going to be an homage to the Van Damme prison movie “Hell”?

Short answer –  No.
Longer answer –  No it is not.

In a very Rambo-esque turn of events, someone from the US government needs Dolph’s help to break into a small fortress and rescue a kidnapped girl. Unlike Rambo, Dolph doesn’t just want his freedom from prison, but also negotiates payment. The joy of the breakout is that Dolph will engage in a 10 minute hand fight, and then just shoot the next guy that comes along.

But this is where Direct Contact throws you a loop. It seems the girl wasn’t kidnapped, and the government rep that freed Dolph from prison wasn’t with the government. This is when our star has to freelance a plan of action and Direct Contact get interesting. Dolph takes us through many car chases and gun fights.

Takeaways:

  • A love scene in a barn is questionable. This isn’t Roadhouse.
  • Driving means continuously turning the wheel back and forth.

This isn’t a great Dolph Lundgren movie, but it is currently available to stream through Netflix.

Find on Netflix

Showdown in Little Tokyo

STARRING: Dolph Lundgren & Brandon Lee
BADNESS RATING:
RELEASED: 1991
DIRECTED BY: Mark Lester

Showdown in Little TokyoHow did I make it this long without watching this movie. This is the starring role I’ve hoped to see from Dolph since Rocky 4.

Dolph’s character shows extreme agility (jumping over a car), extreme strength (rolling a car on its side) and a great partner in Brandon Lee. This movie has the explosions, the fights and the bad jokes that exemplifies a bad action movie. 5 stars!

Find on Netflix